Moving Right Along

I am officailly packed.

I am tired.

I have been up every night this week well into the early morning hours. I have given up entirely on even pretending to be on time for work in the morning. They don't seem to mind.

My last day at my job is tomorrow and there are about a million things I could write about how I feel about leaving. This job is what I would call my first "grown-up" job. I remember how excited I was when I started there over a year and a half ago about the silliest little things. My own fax line. My own desk. My own computer. My own fax cover sheets with my name and my title on them. It all seemed so legit. I felt very cool. Ah, naivete.

It took me a little while but within the last 8 months especially, I have developed some pretty real friendships. Leaving tomorrow is going to be hard. I might cry. I will promise to write. I will give hugs.

After I leave work, the plan is to get on the road by 9:30pm. Trav will be my road trip buddy. I am supposed to drive all through the night in order to stay on schedule. Travo will take over in the morning as I will most likely pass out in the back seat when that time comes. It is 16ish hours to the Grand Canyon from my front door. The plan is to be at the Grand Canyon mid-afternoon. Neither one of us has ever seen it. Hopefully, we will get to watch the sunset there. That would be nice. I will probably cry.

That night we are staying in a town called Needles in California at the Best Western. It is in the middle of the Mojave Desert on the border of Arizona and California. From Needles it is approximately 4 hours to LAX. I promised Trav we would eat at an In-n-Out burger somewhere on our trip. If you go to the in-n-out burger website, it will let you put in a road trip starting point and a destination and it will tell you all the in-n-out burgers within 2 miles of your route. I now know that there are 11 in-n-out burgers between needles and LAX. Technology kicks ass.

After a tasty west coast hamburger, it is on to the airport. This is where I will say good-bye to Trav as he is not going on to Hawaii with me. I will most definitely cry. He will too. It will be very sad. It will be very hard.

I have said good-bye to a lot of friends who have gone off traveling the country or even the world, but I have never really had to say good-bye because I was the one leaving. I don't really know which is more difficult. Leaving behind people you love so much and an environment that is your home is very, very hard.

But my spirit is at rest with my decision to leave. I believe that this is my season to scatter stones. I believe that no matter how hard it is to say good-bye, I need this time away. And so I'm moving right along on to the next leg of my journey. Don't worry- I will keep in touch from my mountaintop.

The plan is working

That's it. I'm done. No more of this. I'm out.

Let me explain by telling you a short story of how I've been over the past 7 years of my life.

I'm 18. I'm smart. I want to go far away to a really outstanding college when I graduate high school. North Carolina. Boston. UCLA. But I don't. Instead I go to a school that my older sister attends that's 100 miles south of the house my family has lived in for 30 years. (I don't regret that though because I met beautiful and amazing people in Waco. Sic 'Em.)

Flash forward 2 years. I want to study abroad in Europe for a semester. I'm looking at Baylor in Great Britain. Incredible program. I'm going to make weekend jaunts to Paris and Switzerland. I'm going to live in London for 4 months and eat scones and learn the ways of the British. But I don't. Instead I feel as though I can't leave Waco because I'm in love so I get married. I live in a cute duplex and I get a dog (I don't regret that either because I met and married the best... it just happened really really fast...)

So now I'm married at 21 and I want to join the peace corps with the hubby. We want to go to Latin America after college and live in a hut in the jungle for 2 years while helping natives build houses and farm their land. We turn in our applications and get all ready to join. But we don't. Instead we move to Dallas and I get a 9 to 5 (well, 10:30 to 7) job in an office with no windows. Brilliant. I kind of regret that...

And now after all this I'm actually living in the room I had in high school in the house that my family has lived in for 30 years. I feel as though I am going to explode if I do not put space between myself and all of this.

So now it's time. No more of this ridiculous game of thinking big and never doing. I am setting out on my own. I am moving to Tahoe.

Yes. Tahoe.

I quit my job and found out today that I got a job at the Stanford Sierra Conference Center in South Lake Tahoe for the fall. So in 2 1/2 weeks I'm packing up my Hyundai and driving to California. I'm going to live in a cabin next to a lake and go hiking in the mountains everyday. I'm going to meet and work with people from all over the country. I'm going to learn to sail and I might start eating granola. Why the hell not?! I'm going to throw behind me every failed attempt and every regret I've ever had for not grabbing life by the balls and stepping out on my own. I'm tired of all of this and every bone in my body aches with the anticipation of a fresh start in a new place.

And all this will be done approximately 2000 miles from the house my family has lived in for 30 years.

For anyone keeping track, this is chapter 3 of my adult life entitled "What happens when I get my nose pierced and start listening to good music" or "The Highly Anticipated Hiatus from Texas." Stay tuned...

Yummy music

If you find yourself wishing you were lounging in a hammock on a remote island somewhere staring at the ocean sipping on a cocktail listening to lovely music on a breezy summer day, then check out KOOP. If you do not find yourself wishing this right now, then check out KOOP anyway and you will no doubt start dreaming about it henceforth. I find that the upbeat, yet soothing tones of this Swedish jazz group will no doubt serve as a catalyst for most any escapist fantasy you might wish to indulge during your very busy day.

Slow down. Relax. Now go listen to them here.